The Winter Dream

 

Quote:

"I had a Dream about a day in Winter. Do you want to hear about it?"

Materials:

Black Ink, Red and Blue Watercolor, Ink Stamp

Description:

Red and Blue watercolors form a gradient on the page. Cool tones of the color blue meet the warm and inviting red. More warmth is needed as the cool color takes up most of the page. The quote, "I had a Dream about a day in Winter. Do you want to hear about it?" sits in the red as that is where that story primarily is, in the warmth of a cold winter.

Open letter: To The Person in My Dreams

When I was younger, I dreamed so vividly. I almost thought my dreams were messages from a higher being, as these were the only times I could see anything in my mind's eye. For most of my life, all I see when I close my eyes is void of blank emptiness where nothing can form. But in these dreams, I could see, hear and feel. There is one dream that still sticks with me to this day, and it is one that started on a day in Winter. 

I dreamed of a cold winter day, and it was quiet as I woke up. The warmth from the quilt kept me warm, but the cold nip still got my nose. There was someone with me in that bed. Their back was turned, and I could not see their face. I left them to sleep as this was the start of the day. 

I made myself a cup of tea with the intense fragrance of citrus. In the dream, I was still getting used to the taste of green tea as I had chosen to switch to it from coffee not too long ago. The house was still so cold even though I was wearing a sweater. Yet, for some reason, I did not care. I stood before this bay window, looking out to the yard of untouched white snow.  I relished in the calm and quiet that there was to the start of this day and delicately held this teacup in my hands, keeping warm. 

Before I knew it, there was someone behind me. The other person in my dream wraps their arms around me from behind lovingly, producing a comforting warmth. We don't say anything to each other. We don't need to say anything to each other. There isn't a moment in time when my mind races or I feel like I have to be afraid. I am safe, and I am secure with this person. We just stand there for what feels both timely and long. I decide to look at them, and that's when the dream ends before I can take a look at this person. 

I still remember waking up that night in tears. It was a feeling that I have yet to replicate. I felt The level of stillness and unconditional love I felt then. It felt so authentic and prophetic that there was a time in my life when I held onto the idea of this person. It was as if a divine being told me that this person was out there and that they would be coming into my life. 

But the harsh reality is that it was a dream and continues to be just a dream. It has been five years since I had that dream. There have been many dates, disappointments, and heartbreak since then. It is hard to keep the dream alive when you have been beaten down so much that you must face the reality that no one is coming to you on that winter day.

I am also not interested in entertaining this grand idea that the other person was me in this dream. I have heard this suggestion, and it doesn't feel like the intention of that dream. If there is one thing that I am confident of at this time, it is that the other person was not me. 

This open letter goes out to that person in my dreams. Where have you been? Do you even exist? I'm tired of waiting for you, but some of me still does not want to give up. It just becomes harder with every passing day.

With kind intentions,

Wren