What is Change?

 

Quote: 

"People Choose Change when They think It's Worth It."

Materials: 

Red Watercolor, Blue Alcohol-Based Marker, Ink Stamp, Black Ink

Description: 

Red watercolor and blue alcohol maker are used on two separate sides of the paper. There is a divide in their spacing on the page and how they fill the space. Yet, neither completely fills the page, both in their space and on the opposite side of the page. It really is a matter of preference which way you choose. The quote has been added to the center in black. The quote states, "People Choose Change when They think It's Worth It." The word "Change" transitions between the two colors. 

Open Letter: 
To those who could have changed

There is a scene from "The Good Place" that always strikes me as significant. Eleanor gets to confront her mom, only to discover she has changed. The person Eleanor grew up with who was neglectful now is an attentive, caring partner. In a moment of frustration and sorrow, she states that she wanted that mother but feels that change was never given to her because she was not worth it. Anytime I watch "The Good Place," this scene hits me hard. To think of the times when this statement speaks to me. 

There have been so many times in my life that I have been unable to have expectations from the people around me. I have been let down, abused, and neglected. Meanwhile, the same people go on to the next person, and they are like a new person. They are the person I wanted them to be for me, but only found to be incapable of doing so. In essence, I was not worth it to them. 

In early childhood, my parents refused to do anything that meant putting an active effort into my life. In the recent past, it was the partner who would rather be out with friends when I asked him to be there for me while I struggled through a bad day. In the most current rendition, the "friend" was never sober. They would make comments as if they wanted to change but never did.

When I asked for them to show up, they made me feel terrible for asking that of them. As if I wasn't worth that change. As if the mere ask of that expectation was a tedious task.

It's hard to say that it was not just because of you. When you see them, move on to other people and make those active changes. The birth parents move on, the partner doesn't do the same thing to the next person, and the friend you so desperately wanted to talk to sober only goes to AA because their new partner wants them to. They made the change not because of you but because they found something that was worth it to do so. It shouldn't be like that. It should be easy to talk to other people and express your concerns, feel heard, and most importantly, feel like there is that desired change. 

This letter goes out to all the people who can change for the good of the people inside of their lives and still don't do so. If you were capable of change now, you would have been capable of change then. Don't neglect the people in your life; change for the need, not the cause.

With kind intentions,

Wren