Through a looking glass

Quote:

"If you watched me like you watched my socials maybe we still would be friends."

Materials used:

Blue Watercolor, Black ink, Black Stamp

Description:

Blue lines of watercolor form the faces of others. One is prominent and clean, while the second face is slightly contorted. The phases of a friendship to a stranger. The blue sorrow of a thing once remembered.

An open letter to Old Unwanted Friends

I was thinking about when I was living in Pennsylvania. My roommate and friend at the time had a falling out with a different friend of ours in the group. But the day that I remember in particular was when she noticed our friend was still looking up her posts on Instagram and how annoyed she was at the interaction. 

I didn’t think much of it. I thought that maybe our friend was trying to keep up with her in case they ever reconciled. But my roommate was insistent on her needing to pick a side. She said, “You can either hate and leave me alone or be present in my life and engage with me. Not both.” I thought she was ridiculous, but now I know what she is talking about. If we still talked, I would probably tell her she was right, as I find myself in the same situation.

I have an ex-friend who does the same to me now. We had a falling out in March last year due to an ongoing cascade of issues. Honestly, but the time we fell out, I didn’t even really think we were friends. I will never forget how I was in one of the hardest struggles of my life, and she chose to leave me when I needed a friend.  But She still looks at my posts. A thing that social media tells me is that she does.

This open letter is to those who couldn’t be bothered to show up for us yet continue to watch our every move. I would dare to call you a coward in the same manner that you view my life through the safety of your home on a screen. It’s frustrating because you used to talk to me as a person, and now you continue to invade my life without the same decency. It would be better if you were a stranger because then I would know that you didn’t have those extra pieces I gave to you along the way of our friendship. 

I hope you are well, but I never want you back in my life. I never want you to come up to me in public and try to talk to me, acting like nothing happened when it did. You lost the right to be in my life the day you walked away from me in my time of l need. I will never forget that from you. Regardless, I hope that you get everything that you wanted.